BRB, off to PrimaCare for antibiotics since I've managed to get blood poisoning from a frigging HANGNAIL.
Next I expect ebola of the hair follicles, or something.
EDIT: Meh, screw it. While I was waiting for yard contractor to finish up so I could pay him & go, I lanced under the nail and soaked it in rubbing alcohol for a while. Hurt like bejeezus but by the time J got home the red line had lightened up so much he wasn't sure if he could even see it or not. I'll give it the night and go in if it's not significantly better in the morning. I don't feel like wasting an evening and upwards of $100 if I don't have to.