6 AM - Alarm goes off. J. gets up and turns it off and goes to wake up Das Kidlet, as the has to be off to daycamp and him off to work before I do. I doze off again.
6:03 - Kidlet has grumpily decided she doesn't want to get up. J. decides to tickle her. She screams at the top of her lungs.
6:03:01 - I am out of bed and out the door ready to kill something with my bare hands if necessary.
6:04 - J. convinces me that everything is okay and I can go back to bed. He kindly resets the alarm for me to make up for the scare.
6:05 - 7:00 - Lie awake, waiting for adrenaline to wane.
7:15 - Doze off.
8:00 - Alarm goes off. Unfortunately, J. set it accidentally to Radio instead of Buzzer. We never use Radio, so we have no idea what it's set to. Apparently it's set to a Spanish station at 3,000dB, either talk radio or a morning show. So I am awakened by a random man's voice screaming "HEY! HEY! HEYYYYYYYYY!" and then several sentences I can't parse, right next to the bed. I think I ricocheted off the ceiling and the armoire before skidding to a crouch in the middle of the room, trying to fluff fur I don't even have.
Finally figured out what was going on, turned off the alarm SLIGHTLY harder than was necessary (it still works. Shut up), and jumped in the shower to rinse off two layers of adrenalized panic-sweat.
The amusing part? I didn't realize until mid-afternoon that I hadn't had a drop of caffeine (or soda of any kind) and I was awake just fiiiiiiine.
Not a method I want to do every day, but decidedly effective, I'll give it that.