J.: So it's about gold for kittens!
Me: FUCK YOU YOU KNOW THIS IS THE ONE THING I DO NOT FIND FUNNY DIE IN A FIRE*.
J.: No no, look!
Me: Wait, they trade in gold and get kitties? I AM SO FOR THIS!
J. I am against this.
Me: Well come on, I mean you send them gold and then you shit cats...
Me: Sorry, Jack Daniels translation: THEY SHIP YOU CATS...
J.: If you start shitting cats I am LEAVING YOU.
Me: *cracks up*
*30 minutes later*
Me: *goes to bathroom*
Me: OH MY GOD! A KITTEN!
J.: THAT IS NOT EVEN REMOTELY FUNNY.
* I have a very very flexible sense of humor, but cats dying or being tortured is my one dead unfunny spot. Topic of torture or death: Babies? Puppies? People? Me? I will wet my pants laughing. But involve cats tortured or dying** and for some reason my normal disassociation goes kerflutz. So, you are forewarned.
** In any pseudo-real way. Yes, I am fine with BonsaiKittens, although it squicked me at first, but it got shoved in my face so often, and it's so absurdist, I managed to get inured to it. It is the exception rather than the rule.
Yes, I know this is a neurotic, illogical exception to a logical viewpoint. Most people have at least one. This is my one, I ask you to respect it. I will take all the dead baby, abuse, rape, eating disorder, etc jokes you can throw at me otherwise.