Me: Wow. Crazy. And the fact that he was a psychiatrist specializing in essentially PTSD...
J.: Yeah, seriously.
Me: Oh. OH GOD NO MY BRAIN MAKE IT STOP.
Me: So... he specializes in dealing with troops with Trauma and talking them down... what if he went up to the actual shooter and managed to talk him into laying down his weapons? Then he's all "no wait, I'm just a-" *BLAM!* and the real shooter blends quietly into the fleeing crowd...
J.: But they have eyewitness accounts...
Me: ...of a male with a buzzcut in camo fatigues? Golly, THAT narrows it down on a military base of 40,000 enlisted! And I'm sure everyone got a clear view and nobody lost line-of-sight while scrambling for cover or anything.
J.: Yeah but... they... the thing... FUCK!
Me: Yeah. Long shot, but still.
J.: NOW I CAN'T GET IT OUT OF MY BRAIN.
Me: I know right? I share the pain.
J.: Damn you!
Me: Married you!