EDIT: No seriously. I was SINGING of all things dammit and I reached down in a full vertical bend to scratch my heel and my left calf went SPROING. I mean, I have sprained and torn all kinds of tendons before while kicking and stretching and generally doing things that can be considered awesome and/or sexy but this is LAME. THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE. I REJECT THIS REALITY. Someone call MythBusters to come retroactively fix my fucking leg because this shit IS NOT HAPPENING.