They can't find it. Not only can they not find the insulin, they can't even find any record of it in the system at all. If I hadn't called to confirm it I'd have thought the vet forgot to call it in, but no. And of course, the guy who had confirmed it was the manager, who was out on lunch.
Fortunately he returned about 15 minutes later and located it. They hadn't been able to find it because when the vet called it in, they created a new account under the cat's name instead of putting it under my existing account. Ok, silly but whatever. I ask for the total.
They tell me that they can't give it to me because it's not in my name.
I point out that it is for my CAT.
They acknowledge this, but whoever created the account forgot to tag it as a pet/minor account, which allows the "parent" to collect the 'scrips. Which means I know he is a cat, and they know he is a cat, but according to the system he is an adult in his own right and has to come down and sign for his own prescription.
I point out that his standard way of "signing" things is something they would strongly dislike.
They ask if that is a threat.
I ask if bring sprayed with cat urine is threatening.*
They call the manager back from lunch again.
He says that I can be added to the account as an "authorized receiver" for him. I say this is fine and ask how. One of the pharmacists sheepishly points out the cat would have to fill out and sign a consent form.
I again point out the Cat Pee Factor.
Finally someone suggests that since the account was just opened by request of the vet's office, they could technically have the authorization to still modify it.
I have the vet's office call and formally request accountmodification (which largely consisted of them shouting "OF COURSE HE'S REALLY A CAT, ARE YOU RETARDED?!") and I am finally allowed to pay an insane amount for insulin, then dash out the door and screech back into work with two minutes left on lunch break.
Gotta love bureaucracy.
* Because it was noted as a point of confusion elsewhere: No, I was not threatening to throw urine on people if they didn't break policy and give me the insulin. Cats, like many mammals, "sign" or "mark" objects by urinating on them. So when they kept repeating that the "person" whose name was on the account had to sign for it, I was attempting to make a small joke. The person I was talking to at the time instead got slightly Cornholio on me.
Also, the stupid here is the legal policy that prevents people from easily being able to rectify a simple human error, not the people themselves. Well, other than the one who thought cat pee was a threat.