Cats: ...oh REALLY.
Me: Um, yes.
Cats: You LEFT.
Me: Well yeah, but we-
Cats: For a LONG TIME.
Me: Yes but there was-
Cats: Like MORE THAN A DAY.
Me: But mr_rubix was-
Cats: We are NOT SPEAKING TO YOU.
Me: But you're speaking to me right no-
Cats: ONLY TO NOTIFY YOU THAT WE ARE NOT SPEAKING.
Me: ...okay, fair.
Cats: YOU MUST EARN OUR FORGIVENESS!
Me: All right, fine, have the belly rubbins.
Cats: INSUFFICIENT! mr_rubix fed us on tuna steak and caviar in your absence! Fetch us some!
Me: Oh bullshit.
Cats: Blast. Our bluff is called.
Me: HA HA HA!
Cats: Although we did find that jumbo-sized bag of beef jerky jconstantine dropped behind the desk last week.
Me: HA HA wait, the what?
Cats: We may have overindulged a tidge. With some disagreeable gastronomic results.
Me: *looks at office carpet* OH MY BLISTERING CHRIST!