There was a large selection of the typical shirts with bible passages (although one had a burnt-velvet angel that was so cool I was tempted to get it anyway), poor parodies of popular tropes, etc. I almost grabbed a baby tee with a Rock Band style logo on the front and "ROCK LOVE ANGEL" in thick gothic script around it, but a look in the mirror reminded me I'm too chunky to wear a baby tee right now, even ironically.
There was, however, also a large selection of secular clothing that was really spiffy, mostly hand-painted or printed with a background in old Catholic fresco, Sailor Jerry, or vintage concert tee styles, with various patterns on top decked out in studs and rhinestones, usually fleurs-de-lis or gothic crosses. "Neat!" cried I, and dove in. I ended up with two long-sleeved lightweight shirts and a tank top, and was quite proud. I wore the first of the long-sleeved shirts to work today, as the A/C there is set somewhere between "Frigid" and "Corpse Storage".
Let me just pause to remind people that I am not USED to sparkly things. I have not worn sparkly things since I quit ice skating when I was 7. I am not committed to Sparkle Motion.
So I am driving groggily to work this morning and follow the freeway as it curves around in an Eastward direction. And HOLY SHIT MY CAR IS A DISCO BALL OMGWTF! I swerved slightly as a million points of light burst forth to fulfill Bush Senior's prophecy inside my Saturn, swirling and jiggling and half-blinding me as I jerked back into my own lane, calmed down slightly, and realized that this psychotic, impromptu planetorium display was actually coming from ME. Specifically, the huge metal-stud-and-tiny-rhinestone pattern on my chest, which explained why the in-car constellations were jiggling as I first hyperventilated, then started laughing hysterically.
I'm just glad no cops were around when I made the initial swerve. Because I don't think "I'm sorry officer, I was distracted by my tits" is going to hold up in any court of law.