Me: Well, I, uh, made a sim of my abusive ex.
Me: And I made him a house.
J.: All ri- is that a MAZE?
Me: Er.. yes.
Me: Well originally I planned it so that after he ate, by the time he made it to the toilet he'd pee himself.
Me: It didn't quite work. He went into this bizare pee-sleep crash cycle where he eventually starved to death. Or pee'd himself to death, I can't tell.
J.: He looks okay to me.
Me: Oh, this is Abusive Ex Mark II!
Me: The original one's urn of ashes is in the kitchen. I've totally learned how to more effectively torture this one without letting him die!
Me: ...I'm not bitter. Or anything.
J.: ...I love you?
Me: Oh hush. Everyone I've turned into a torture-sim spent at least 6 months deliberately fucking up my life before gaining that status. Just STOP if you think you're being an asshole and all is good.
*30 minutes elapse*
J.: Okay, who's pregnant?
Me: No! OMG, after I killed my first ex-sim?
J.: I vaguely remember this, yes.
Me: So I made another identical psycho-ex sim.
Me: I saved too close to his death, all right?
Me: So, second psycho-ex-sim is living in the same house, with the ashes of original sim...
J.: You left the ASHES there?
Me: I'm not going to make it EASY on the bastard. So, he's wandering around in the middle of the night...
J.: As you do.
Me: And all of a sudden the malevolent ghost of the original sim manifests and LEAPS out at him, and gives him a HEART ATTACK and KILLS HIM!
J.: ...this is some Asimov level shit.
Me: I have eternal recursive ex death! I just keep plugging his virtual ass into the house that is perpetually more haunted by his own previous manifestations and his likelihood of death by his own hands just keeps going up!
J.: It's like a vengeance katamari.
Me: I LOVE THIS GAME!