Mel Hynes (takhisis) wrote,
Mel Hynes
takhisis

YAYYYY WOOOO huh?

So, just finished watching House of the Flying Daggers. Which 90% was absolutely awesome and beautiful and kickass and then... the ending. Or the kinda lack thereof.

I know, there is the Stereotypical Kung Fu Film Ending Theory which means it's a bad ending if everyone dies, and a good ending if everyone dies honorably together. But this seriously just made me bobbity my head a few times.


Girl: Guy 1, whom I love, you must flee and I can never see you again!
Guy 1: Girl, come run away with me!
Girl: No, I cannot! Woe honor wangst!
Guy 1: Farewell, my love! *ride ride ride*
Girl: *stares pensively afer him*
Guy 1: *many shots of rampaging horse ass as he gallops away*
Girl: *stares*
Guy 1: *horse ass*
Girl: *stares*
Guy 1: *horse ass*
Girl: Aw, fuck honor. *rides after him*
Knife: YOINK!
Girl: *ack thud bleed*
Guy 2: You! You're leaving me for Guy 1, aren't you?!
Girl: Well I WAS, but...
Guy 2: I demand you stay with me! Or you will die!
Girl: *looks at knife in chest* ...as opposed to?
Guy 2: How could you? After I loved you and stalked you and tried to rape you and everything?
Girl: *dies*

Guy 1: You know, I've been sitting pensively with the camera trained on my horse's ass for like a week now. I think I'll ride back to rejoin the one true love of my life.
Guy 1: *rides into field with suspiciously Girl-shaped bloodstain in it* WTF?
Guy 2: YOUUUUUUUU!
Guy 1: You! You must be the unexplained guy that I suspected Girl used to be involved with but never got a straight answer! Because you're the only named male character left in the movie!
Guy 2: It's all your fault! I told you not to get involved! Then you had to go and talk to her and not rape her and stuff, and she fell in love with you and I had to kill her! How could you?
Guy 1: You killed Girl! YOU MUST WILL DIE!
Guy 1 & Guy 2: *fight fight fight fight*
Leaves: *blow*
Seasons: *change*
Snow: *falls*
Guy 1 & Guy 2: *still fighting rarr slash hack stab grr*
Guy 2: I WILL KILL YOU FOREVER BECAUSE YOU STOLE MY LOVE!
Guy 1: I WILL KILL YOU FOREVER BECAUSE YOU KILLED GIRL!
Girl: *hack* Actually, I'm not quite dead yet...
Guy 2: Ha! I pull out this knife that has been sticking out of my back for three months now and just now think to threaten to skewer you with it!
Guy 1: Aie!
Girl: No! If you do, I will deflect it with the knife you left in my chest, which is forming a magical Kung Fu Bond over the wound, and by removing it I will bleed to death!
Guy 1: NYOO!
Guy 2: *stare*
Girl: *stare*
Guy 1: *stare*
Guy 2: *fwip!*
Girl: *FWIP!*
Guy 1: *flinches like wussie*
Guy 2: Ha ha! As you can see, I only PRETENDED to throw my knife, because I knew you wouldn't throw YOURS, which proves you don't really love hi-
Girl: *dies*
Guy 2: Oh, balls.
Guy 1: NYOOOOO! MY LOOOOVE! YOU'RE DEAAAAD! AGAAAAAAIN!
Guy 2: So, uh, this is awkward. I think I'm just going to stagger off heavily wounded now.
Guy 1: Yeah sure. I mean, it's not like our original fight was based on revenge for you killing Girl, which you've now actually done.
Guy 2: Right then. Cheerio. *stagger stagger*

Credits: *roll*

Me & J.: o_O
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