I am such a dork. Finally beat the game the first time, and I've been getting goofy towards the end.
Grotto Immortal: "Mehrunes Dagon will deal with you!"
Me: "...WHATEVER!" *sings* "da na na NEEH nah nah nah nuh nuh" *kills everything in 2 hits with mighty sword of flame/shock/frost/strength sap/etc.*
Mankar Camoran: "the Daedra are the true gods of your world! You live in a colony of Hell! Mwa ha ha!"
Me: "...yeah WHATEVER! da na nah naaah nah nah" *chop chop slash*
(Yes, I was actually singing this at the computer for the entire end of the game. If you don't get the reference, go find the bush parody version of Liam Lynch's "My United States of Whatever".)
After Dagon is dead:
Chancellor Ocato: "Oh thank goodness! But where is the new emperor, Martin Septim? He must rule this land!"
Me: Uh, he's dead.
Ocato: "O NOES! The land will be thrown in turmoil! How can we go on without a leader? Someone must stand as the Savior of the Whole Kingdom!"
Me: Ah, well, hmm...
Ocato: "Oh by the way, we give you this massive honorable award for repeatedly saving all our asses from the underworld and generally being the Savior of the Whole Kingdom multiple times. As a token, we give you this badass armor which is traditionally only worn by the Emperor. But we give it to you as a gift, since we don't, y'know, have an emperor. And stuff."
Me: Well, you know, since the kingdom is saved, I'm kind of out of a job as a hero... and I'm not doing anything...
Ocato: "Oh yes, we're all cast into a flurry. My job now is to figure out how to choose a sucessor for the emperor! What a quandary! I have no idea where to start!"
Me: Well GOSH, maybe you could pick someone who has *AHEM* done some GREAT REPEATED SERVICE FOR THE KINGDOM or something...
Ocato: "Yes, yes, it will be so terribly difficult to find someone appropriate. Well, thank you again, O Hero and Savior of the Entire World! Good luck on finding another job! Now let me be while I figure out someone who is suitable to be emperor of the kindgom..."
Me: Hey, Ocato? Martin Septim and me? We fucked. We totally got it on before the last battle, and now I'm pregnant with his child, which makes me Empress Regent. Immediately. Okay? Is that clear enough, you clueless fuck? Because otherwise you are about to get a Claymore of Voltage up the yin-yang, and I'm not just testing Speechcraft on you.