Home from California. The memorial service was very nice, and they opened the funeral home an hour early for me because I got in too late to go to the viewing on Sunday (some relatives had requested a closed-casket service, so they had a separate viewing). I didn't stand up and say anything at the service because I couldn't get all my thoughts, all the things I wanted to say, in order, and I didn't trust my voice to be steady. Most of my relatives were the same way. I've been trying to detail everything I want to say about her and will probably do so inthe next couple of days when I have time to focus myself and do it justice. I've been rather detatched from my own head for the last few days, and while a Thompson-style addled rambling might be amusing, it's not what I want to do on this subject.
This is the first grandparent I've really lost, in my view. My paternal grandfather died long before I was born, when my dad was still a kid, and my grandmother remarried, so that's the man I've grown up always considering my grandfather. I guess it's one of the down sides to coming from such long-lived family... you kind of start thinking of your loved ones as near-immortal.
Right now I'm just very, very tired and still feeling separated from myself. I may be going to Tulsa this coming weekend if I can help my aunt & uncle with the actual burial service. Not sure yet. Hopefully I'll be a little more back in my own head tomorrow.
Thank you all very very much for the well-wishes and comfort.