There's only one lane at the store that cells cigs, and it was open and empty, so I got into it and asked for a carton. They had one, but there was no tag on the shelf and the item was coming up when scanned as "not found". So the cashier calls the checkout manager over, he looks through the computer, can't find anything, and they have to call the recieving manager over to look it up. He takes the carton into the back to look up the product. The cashier says she's never heard of the product before, and we chat a little bit while waiting about how they're designed to be cleaner/safer/etc. Meanwhile someone's gotten into line behind me. Oh look, it's Joe Asshat! The cashier tells him we're waiting on a product lookup in the back and it may be a while, if he wants to use another lane. He *humphs* and unloads his 4 items, and comments "Well, it better not take THAT long!" Sure, let us just change reality for your convenience, after you were offered an alternative. After about 6 seconds he starts braying "WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG!" The cashier explains again that the manager's in back looking up an item. "Well, it's INCONSIDERATE of people to ask for SPECIAL TREATMENT like that!" Right. How inconsiderate of me to ask to buy a product ON THE SHELF in the SPECIALTY line for that type of item. We're all in on a secret government plot to inconvenience you, pal. The checkout manager comes over and directs him over to another lane opened especially for him, while Joe Asshat mutters about "goddamned smokers". I resist the urge to point out the fact that if I just went and bought Lungbuster 200s that would give HIM cancer via second-hand smoke I'd be out of there in 30 seconds, not to mention that auto accidents thanks to people driving like HIM kill far more people every year...
After that the cashier and I are doing a "Who's On First" type routine of apologizing. "I'm sorry for the wait!" "No, I'm sorry this is such a pain!" She cracked up and said she didn't mind because it was the first moment to rest she'd had all shift. Receiving Manager comes back with a price and says the store discontinued the item, and someone had deleted it out of the computer because they thought they were all sold already. Well, that's understandable. Unfortunately that means the cashier has to enter it by hand, then finds out that anything over $5 entered by hand needs to be cleared by a DIFFERENT manager. I fell all over myself apologizing and feeling like a heel (at least it won't happen again!), finally get done.
As I'm walking out, I notice a familiar figure about 5 steps in front of me... hey, it's Joe Asshat! Since he got his very own register almost 5 minutes before and he only had a couple of items, I had no idea why he hadn't left a long time ago. As he stops by his car and I go past to mine, I notice a pricey bottle of champagne in his cart that wasn't there before. Ohhhh, so in Asshat-Land, using toxins on your LUNGS is despicable and inconsiderate, but holding things up FOR THE SAME AMOUNT OF TIME to poison your LIVER is Your Right As A Customer. NOW I understand.
He was still putting crap in his trunk when I drove past to leave. I resisted leaning on my horn to see if he'd jump and whack his head on the trunk lid. I think I should get karma points for that.